Just something..no subject

A few minutes ago I began thinking of somethings that have just haven't left my mind for a few days. Theres a bunch of mixed emotions flowing through me about leaving the US in about 26 days when I go back to Spain...I know my feelings have changed over there last few days,I've made up my mind that I'm going to give Spain another chance after one of my very close friends sent me a e-mail that really touched me. I know I will have a hard time there without my brother being there to randomly grab me and let me wack him because he finds such a joy in it...why I don't know! But I am willing to go in knowing God has a bigger thing in store for me and the fact that I get to go to Holland for a missions thing and that possibly going to Paris for Christmas with Christopher who is like a brother to me =)!Going back to the thing I planed on writing before I went off on a "rabbit trail". I won't let go of Gods hand,I now know that he knew my every thought and felt everything I felt...a person in class a few Sunday's ago said "But God doesn't know how you feel"...if that person only knew that he does, we don't go through things without him going through them either...he feels our every bit of pain..I learned that when I e-mailed another MK when I was kind of venting my feelings,she remains nameless but she is the most amazing person ever and I know she'll be one of the many I know I can trust when I need someone to run to. I have learned many things in the past few months of being back in the states letting God Speak to me through some of my really great friends...I've grown in God more than I've realized, I have a whole lot more to give to him and going to Spain is one of the things apart from giving my whole heart to him,and letting him take my life into his hands. He has given me so much more that I could ever give back...........