Blub blub blub I can't write!!
I've had writers block since June.. no fair. But now since I have a topic I'm gonna write.. please just follow me, I have a point.
So many times we try and see farther into our future but God doesn't want us to.. He just wants us to sit back, relax and let him take control for a bit. We like to argue about dumb things and think we know everything when really we don't. The problem is we are so impatient we can't wait to see what God has for us.. we rush into everything and don't take a second to pause. We sometimes ask God for too much.. which is why some people get laryngitis, God just wants you to STOP!
He has to put his hand over our eyes, ears, and mouths... we need to have a block.
Ok yeah that wasn't exactly a point but I tried
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
My burden for Cuba has stolen my heart, I have found myself lost in thought and confusion. I have been in Missions my whole life and have a Heart of a Missionary. God gave me a burden for Cuba and I just cannot stop thinking about it and asking, "Why this country and why Me of all people?" Maybe God did see a reason for keeping me alive at birth, maybe my greater purpose is to follow Him and serve Him in that country. I stand in awe of Him and at the things He has done in my life, what He is doing, and what He will do. Missions is all I have ever known and SO many places capture me and bring tears to my eyes at what great things God is doing, but the only country that has really captivated me is Cuba. God is blessing me with the opportunity of going to the Dominican Republic in a few months... I pray that this trip allows me to find a answer, changes my life dramatically, and best of all lets me be a great blessing to this country.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
I love God with all my heart because he cares. I love him because he gave me life. I love him because he loves me. I love him because he was hit me in my strom. I love him! I love him because he is so worthy. I can't express my love in just words I want to show him more and more how much I love him. I want to express my love in ways only I could show him. He is so amazing and has been SO good to me. He is my one true love and nothing matters more to me than Him. He came into my life and healed my heart when it was broken, and I'm holding his hand and will never ever let go again. Don't stop loving him.
I can't believe I have been in Europe for almost 6 months now....its crazy. Why does there have to be this thing called water? Why can't anything just happen in a snap of a finger? Because Its God's will and his way. Because he meant for this world to be like this, and if there was no water, there would be no fish, if there was no fish there'd be no food for the other animals in the water, and if there wasn't any other animals in the water well there just wouldn't be right. Things can't happen in a snap of a finger because it just doesn't work that way, because theres this thing called time, and time has been around for trillions of years and if we took time away then we would be in trouble. Time makes things happen, time is important in our daily lives, we must have a time for God. God made time. God is the Creator and we are to obey him for we are his servants. God makes everything happen, without him there is no "us" nor is there anything else. Things happen for a reason no matter what it is, and it will always be happening. "Random without a settled point of direction, aim, or purpose" is what everyone else is, but we the people of God are not one bit random, for we are aiming for the most high cause and we have a purpose of doing what we do.
Many times in my life especially in these past months I have felt alone. I have realzied through these months the one person thats really holding me together is God. He's by my side no matter what is gonna on and no matter how much my heart hurts, he's here. If I'm thinking about a person its Him even if I may be excited about making my trips and such, I'm always thinking about him. He's my King, my savior, my Lord and always on my mind. The best thing is he's thinking about me too. And when I leave my parents he will be my strength, he will guide me, he will be my friend to talk to when I need someone to talk to. He will hold me tight in the storms that I face. He's here, forever and always. Call on that name and he'll come
Friday, May 2, 2008
This morning as my dad was preaching he was talking about the things people think about a person. It hit me what I think about people and how I sometimes judge them for what they look like or how they act,and what they think about me and how it sometimes affects others.But really the only thing that matters is what God thinks. After service the holy ghost was moving on me and it made me realize how important the church we were in meant to me,after all Bro.Jimmy Whites church in Kinder LA has been one of my favorite churches apart from a church in New York,I will Never Ever forget that night and I must add Jamacians are AWESOME!! But going back to Bro.White,as alter call was ending Bro.White got us in the middle of the alter and asked the people to pray that God would help us...to me nothing means more than knowing a whole church is praying for me and my parents while we were/are in Spain and for my brother as he goes to school.After they prayed for us they asked me to come in the middle so all the ladies could give me a special offering which ended up being $99 dollars which is good enough for me! They did the same for Phillip except it was men and he got a little less than me. But anyways that church will always be in my heart and I just felt like sharing.;)
God will never let me go,his mark is upon my heart. My heart is exposed and I want the world to know. God light the dark in my heart,make it brighter than it was even more than it now.Where I walk let my light show thats in my heart.Let it be real for everyone to see and believe.I’m going to show Spain your love with all my heart,help me do that,give me courage and strenght. The people of Spain need your love more and more each day,you see them in sin.I want to be bold and go into Spain with your love and show your love. If this is your desire let it be done...forfil your will in my heart because I want no more drawbacks in my life.My heart and life is now in you hands,its yours for the keeping. Promise you’ll never let me go.
So the past 3 days I've been at TBC having fun at Preview weekend but I am now VERY tried,I haven't had much sleep at all these past few nights..Ah! But anyways I was sitting in the class "Youth Ministries" and the teacher let the TBC students that were there has sort of a youth service and they all did good talking about Potential. The 1st guy had a beta shark and talking about how sharks can grow up to 20 ft and weigh up to 3,500 pounds. He talked about how about how a shark has to be the potential to be that big,and how when we grow in God we can have the potential to be SO much more,and what we can become. The next 2 girls did good and they used browines,they asked who wanted a browine and everyone raised their hand so they pulled out the browine mix and gave people some and talked about how you have to mix your life with the potential to get so far. I can't remember exactly what the last guy talked about because my mind in blank but it made me think how much potential I actually have when I grow and mix in more and more with God every day and what I can become if I let him take control. Anyways thats just my thought
When I speak the name of Jesus,I have such a sweet feeling of love come over me,just thinking of how wonderful it is to serve a All Mighty God that I'd never turn from,but that I'd keep running after. Its the most beautiful name ever mentioned,he's exalted and I'll keep exalting him forever. There's no other name I know to call on in time of need,when I feel lost in this world of hate,anger,danger,and so many other things. How can you not love such an almighty God like him? How can you live in sin for all that he has done for you? He gave his life,He had nails in his hands and feet,he wore a crown of throns,he was spat upon,mocked and whipped over and over again. You can never give up,He'll pick you up and brush you off when you fall,he'll stand by you and hold you when your scared,he'll walk with you in the shadows,he'll run with you,he'll give you second tries. Worship him with all your heart because of this,he loves to hear the sound of praise,its music to his hear,give him everything you have,let tears flow,let the words of praise come from you heart,let him take control and change you forever. He's worthy,he's merciful,kind,he deserves so much more than we can give to him.
Tonight as my uncle was preaching he was talking about a lady who wanted to be the 1st woman to swim across the English Channel,well the day finally came that she decided to try it,as she swam a fog fell and she couldn't see where she was going so she went a little farther and eventually gave up and her mom along side of her in a boat picked her up as soon as she did,the sun broke through and the lady saw that she was only a few yards away from the shore.Sometimes in life we keep going and eventaully we get tired and want to give up because we can't see whats ahead of us because a fog has clouded our path. You cant let the things of the world block your view,keep going no matter what gets in your way,don't let the fog cloud your vision because when the sun comes out from the fog you'll see just how close you are and want to keep going.
I will follow Jesus with everything I have,I'm going to take hold of his hand. You came to my Rescue,when I needed him the most a few months ago. You captured me with grace and I'm going to keep following you,I don't want what this world has,because it has nothing for me. I won't be left behind with others that have idols before them and worship it. I'm not going to fall to ground and not get up,I won't let the evil from the world hold me back,I won't let the Devil stop me from prasing you. I'm following you and I will keep following you forever and ever.
Just thinking how truly awesome it is to love Jesus and knowing he loves me back no matter what I may do,he has a place in his heart for me. The more I seek him the more I find him and its really overwhelming to me to feel his touch..its like hes reaching down from Heaven and hugging me and the more I love him and think of what he's done for me and as more and more thoughts flood my mind more and more tears flow and the hug is just there getting bigger and bigger. I have never felt his love more than now its just so strong...so warming...I can never run from him.It makes me think about what he might have in store for me even though I fight things I may not understand but I have given my life to him and I'm going to try even harder to understand what it is he wants me to do even if it means living in Spain and having a hard time. My life is his for the taking.
A few minutes ago I began thinking of somethings that have just haven't left my mind for a few days. Theres a bunch of mixed emotions flowing through me about leaving the US in about 26 days when I go back to Spain...I know my feelings have changed over there last few days,I've made up my mind that I'm going to give Spain another chance after one of my very close friends sent me a e-mail that really touched me. I know I will have a hard time there without my brother being there to randomly grab me and let me wack him because he finds such a joy in it...why I don't know! But I am willing to go in knowing God has a bigger thing in store for me and the fact that I get to go to Holland for a missions thing and that possibly going to Paris for Christmas with Christopher who is like a brother to me =)!Going back to the thing I planed on writing before I went off on a "rabbit trail". I won't let go of Gods hand,I now know that he knew my every thought and felt everything I felt...a person in class a few Sunday's ago said "But God doesn't know how you feel"...if that person only knew that he does, we don't go through things without him going through them either...he feels our every bit of pain..I learned that when I e-mailed another MK when I was kind of venting my feelings,she remains nameless but she is the most amazing person ever and I know she'll be one of the many I know I can trust when I need someone to run to. I have learned many things in the past few months of being back in the states letting God Speak to me through some of my really great friends...I've grown in God more than I've realized, I have a whole lot more to give to him and going to Spain is one of the things apart from giving my whole heart to him,and letting him take my life into his hands. He has given me so much more that I could ever give back...........